Solicited by the Alien Scout by Ashlyn Hawkes

Author:Ashlyn Hawkes [Hawkes, Ashlyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-03-12T05:00:00+00:00

12

Erin

It takes everything in me not to cry. I shouldn’t have blown up at Gusar like that, but honestly, why did he wait so long to try to get with me? I mean, I know I pulled away from the kiss that hadn’t happened, and if I truly wanted him, I could’ve made the first move.

But I didn’t.

Why not? It’s not as if I had to worry about him rejecting me. I knew and still know that he wants me.

Maybe… Maybe I consider him a friend. A good friend. And I don’t want sex to fuck it up.

Maybe it’s because Keval and his call are fucking with my head.

Maybe it’s because I want to be important in my own right and not because of between my legs.

Yes, I know I’m here for a reason. I know I’m supposed to get pregnant and have a baby or, better yet, babies. I also want to have a career, though. We had been promised that we could have jobs and do something more than just be fucked all the time, but I honestly had been drawing a blank before Gusar showed up. I didn’t want to be a doctor or a scientist. A farmer or hunter? No way. I’m not even sure what other options are available, and it’s not as if my old profession would’ve been a good fit for here either. There’s no entertainment industry here, and I’m not about to put that heavy load on my shoulders. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

Being a homebody, being pregnant with bare feet in the kitchen… that just isn’t me. I hadn’t been ready to have babies back on Earth, but I always knew I wouldn’t want to stay home with the babies. I worked too hard at my job, and I didn’t want to ever give it up.

When something is taken away from you, you want it all the more. That’s exactly what happened with my profession.

Don’t get me wrong. I would’ve been sad to leave the kids with a babysitter or at daycare to go to work, but I’m not just any one thing. I’m not just Erin the cartoonist, or Erin the volunteer, or Erin the scouting partner. I volunteered a lot back on Earth, and the more stressed out and overworked I was, the more alive I felt. Honestly, since coming to Kuria, I’ve been dying a slow death. Just being fucked day in and day out isn’t enough for me.

Maybe that’s just because I haven’t found the one partner for me. The Novans used to fuck around until they found the one and only they wanted to fuck for the rest of their lives. Sex is enjoyable with the breeders, and it had been back on Earth too, but it never made me want to be up all night long. It never had me wanting to lose sleep and skip meals. Enjoyable but not earth-shattering.

Do I enjoy the exploring, the scouting? Honestly, all of the roughing it by foot yesterday had been a lot of fun even if I hadn’t been in the best of moods.

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